i'm pissed

one question in my mind now,

WHY PEOPLE CHANGE ?

i know it sounds so selfish, cause i know myself change too. but someone(a girl, and i've been talking about her alot times in here) that i'm going to talk about here is just change too far from the girl i used to know. dia udah berkali kali bikin aku kesel dan barusan dia bikin aku teramat sangat kesel. dan lagi lagi dia ga sadar kalau dia nyakitin hati orang. i realise that i was so lame for just accepting her rude words instead clearly say to her that she's so careless of using the words and she doesnt know her words are causing her so many trouble. i used to like her. but she's changing far too much. she's outta my reach. she doesnt understand me anymore. perhaps she thought i am a lame so she can treat me whatever she want to. or perhaps she doesnt like me too. so many probability. she's hurting hell outta me. i was like beggin to her "dont go changing" but she already blind and deaf so nothin left for me to change her back. her friends and lovers makin her like this. or perhaps again, i am the one who's being so lame and not being a good friend for her. yeah maybe iam the one who's changing and turn to be sensitive girl. oh my i got headache again. i need a rest. too much thoughts in my brain.

everybody pissed on everybody, that's it.

put the mask on, right now.

it's fun to act definitely different from one side and other side. somehow made me feel that i am so fabulous for being such a pretender. i was avoid to become that one, but instantly whenever i think i have to put the mask on, i'll do it. how absurd,huh?. but for sure, i put my mask on when i meet, talk with only one people *i'm sorry i don't wanna describe this people completely, but the gender is female*.  She's random and annoy me everytime we had a conversation *or whatever* she's so insecure, it's been proven that she had no little idea that she often hurting my feelings and she's just wear a face that nothing ever happened or it's because she's so retarded and she even dont know of what she said it's actually hurting me so deep?. before, she's a quite nice girl and now on she's turning to be classy,bossy queen. and we're poor people that has to beg her for money. 

the problem is.. she like me and i just cant be so mean to tell her stay away from me. this is hard situation. she's being nice,called me on my phone, my instant messenger,*even though she didnt know of what she said it's annoy me a lot* then i will put my mask on, i wear my nicest-ever-seen smile. but if she's done with me*or the phone call* i put my mask off and sighh alot. she's love to be near me, til myself cant even write on my diary how i hate her because she's always stole my diary and read it out loud in front of so many people. she's upsetting right? that is why i write about her in my secret blog *is it secret?*. oh tomorrow will be the last exam day of this week cause day after tomorrow/monday, i will have a week of holiday. so spirittt!!! i'm happy to hear that at least i have some kind of refreshing time and after a week, exam again.

for the people that i was bubbling about, just wanna tell you that i have ever mentioned about her before, right here in my blog, go check previous post then you'll find out.

Bonsoir :)